Out of the Darkness

Today marks an anniversary of sorts for me. It was eight years ago today, that my last relationship ended. It was also my longest relationship. At the time it was really devastating, but I had no idea how being this low would jolt me to change my life and allow experience I never would have imagined.
One thing that I learned from this experience it was incredible, loving people I have, and especially had at that time, in my life. I was not the awesome person that I am now back then. (for those of you who did not know me back then I am sure that is crazy to believe). I was painfully shy, and I hated that about myself. I hated that I did not stand up for myself, that I did not speak up and let myself be heard. This was particularly hard in this relationship because he was a tiny bit control, and I went along with. It was nothing abusive or anything, but not me. It was always little things that I did that he disapproved of, and he let me know. I did not know how to express my frustration, so I went along with it. I did not know this because I did not really know myself all that well. I knew what I wanted to be, but did not know how to become that.
So when the relationship started to crumble, I did not stand up and defend myself- but I had to wonderful people who did it for me. One was my sister Kelli, and the other was my friend Ashlee. Though neither may remember it, they both stood up for me without me needing to say anything to them. I will forever be grateful for them. I also experienced loving friends helping me through everything always there for comfort.
Because of the break up, I decided that I needed a change! A big change. I moved to Connecticut to be a nanny. This is the best thing that I ever did in my life. In Utah, and especially in Orem, I was always tied to my family. I was just another Measom. Not that that is a bad thing, but I knew that I needed to learn to stand on my own two feet. I did not go away for school, so I did not get this opportunity. And the one time that I had moved out, I was still to close to home that I did not really have to really only on myself.
So off to Connecticut I went. I knew no one. I was living with complete strangers that I also worked for, and they had hired me sight unseen too. I learned to fend for myself. I learned how to get everywhere- which is quite the endeavor considering that it is nothing like Utah. I eventually was able and comfortable enough to go into New York by myself. I loved New York- everything about it!
In CT, I met so many people, that lead to meeting other people. I am so grateful that I took this huge step in my life. I know that this was what was suppose to happen, and if it took having one dark day (or couple of weeks) then that is ok with me. I know that we are blessed when we trust in the Lords plan for us. As scary as it may be to step into the darkness, we will be blessed. Remember that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, usually coming from a source that is show much greater, happier, and amazing then was is behind you.